C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
