For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
