Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and she was petting her beer can
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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