K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
