yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
