I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize