OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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