No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
