Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
The air taste purple.
Randomize
