You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize