Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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