I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
