I'm going to jail i love you
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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