That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Little spoons don't ask big questions
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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