Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
