Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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