Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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