p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
