thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
