Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
no. you can't hotbox the world.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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