This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
