I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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