so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
