Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
