Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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