69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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