i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
