11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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