i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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