Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
