She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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