I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize