So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
