Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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