Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
