All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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