i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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