So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize