I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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