GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize