We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
