i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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