Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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