Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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