Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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