Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
