Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My hand turned me down
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The air taste purple.
Randomize
