You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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