I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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