No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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