Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
