I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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