So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
