Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
