I love black thongs
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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