At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
