Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
