I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
