FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
