I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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