hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
