For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
