I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
