Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"

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(512): View more from Texas

After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day

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(347): View more from New York

full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.

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(850): View more from Florida

My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?

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(313): View more from Michigan

Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?

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(309): View more from Illinois

We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.

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