I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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