you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize