Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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