It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
