I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
