you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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