We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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