I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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