Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize