$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She needs sedatives and a leash
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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