He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
